Helen Treva O'Brien

Helen Treva O ’ Brien (Bryan) was the beloved matriarch and last of a generation of Bryans, Youngs, and O ’ Briens. These folks were young and poor during the great depression. They were old enough for the horror and destruction of the second world war. And as adults, they prospered post-war, which seemed like a happy time for them. Mostly, they chose to have many children, and mothers stayed at home. In middle age, they were conflicted by changing roles for women, jolted by politics and economics. In old age, bewildered by computer technology and social change, they were cheered and comforted by their large families and lives well-lived.

Helen was born in 1927 to parents Georgia (Young) and Samuel Bryan and grew up mostly around Lake Superior with siblings Wally, Norma, Jean and Doug and many eccentric aunts and uncles. In Thunder Bay she met her close group of lifelong friends: Connie Sepulchre , Verna Rose, Dolly Huyer, and Izzy Benevides . At McGill she met her dear friend Nita Harris, earned her bachelor’s degree in physical education and the gold medal in her graduating class. She was a sessional instructor at UBC, meeting and marrying Bob O ’ Brien. They each had strong and different personalities but shared a great many of the same values and were married for 62 years until Bob ’ s death in 2015.

Bob ’ s studies and work brought them to Manchester, Ottawa, Edmonton and Berkeley. Eventually they settled on the shoreline of Haro Strait near Victoria and raised five kids. Dan (m. Pat Lee, sons Brandon and Bryan Lee); Martha (partner Bruce Edmu ndson); Doug (m. Marcia Lo, son Cole O ’ Brien); Tim (Close friend Andrea, son Rory O ’ Brien, daughter Rosa O ’ Brien); Patrick (m. Stefanie Jeanneret, daughter Caroline Kratschner, sons Jeremy and Adrian O ’ Brien).

Helen and Bob lived adventurously before kids and subsequently their children benefited. They were allowed to try almost any sport, hobby, activity or educational opportunity they wished, despite the perils of some of them.

Helen was very energetic, hard-working and modest, frugal and generous, resilient and loyal, loving and fair-minded, caring and kind. She had an aphorism for everything: ‘remember the little red hen’, two on a stick’, 'everything fades, alternatives exclude’, ‘spread your base when balance is threatened’…

Helen loved her family 110 per cent yet wasn’t defined only by them. She had many long-term friendships, activities and interests that blossomed as her kids went out on their own. She enjoyed working as a legal stenographer at Holmes and Isherwood from 1974 to 1997. She especially liked to walk and travel; and talked often of her times on the Camino de Santiago. She made intergenerational friends easily and was interested in people ’ s stories and family genealogy. She loved the outdoors, gliding on skis, chestnut canoes, and exploring the back byways of Victoria or wherever else her travels took her. She also loved her grandchildren and great grandchildren, spent much time with most of them, becoming very influential in their lives. Helen stayed close to the children of her siblings for all her life: Bonnie Miller; Doug, Don and Bill Shanks; Susan Neville, Charlie Bryan, Bob and Ted Goodall.

Helen was also strict and stubborn, with filing and belief systems that were occasionally incomprehensible. Old world mannered, her most deprecating comment was: ‘ well, you have to admire them ’ .

Helen enjoyed literature (Orwell), learning (languages) and poetry (The Walrus and the Carpenter) but could only draw a stick mouse.

Helen stayed connected to Ontario, and especially to Silver Harbour, Lake Superior where her family once had a cottage. Despite the loss of her long stride later in life, she was ever cheerful and kind, concentrating on what she could do, not what she couldn’t, even up to her last hour. We are inspired by her example.

We all are grateful for the wonderful staff at Somerset House where Helen lived for the last six years. Charities she supported included Our Place Society, TransCanada Trail and KidSport Greater Victoria. No services are planned.

We miss her and know she would want us all to move forward, or as she would say, ‘proceed as the way opens.’