Scott Lotocky

Scott, Son, grandson, brother, nephew, cousin, friend. We loved you and we know you loved us. You loved Casey, Enzo and Vito. You had happy times, fun times with family, friends and your beloved brothers. We laughed as a family, we argued as a family, we loved as a family. You had relationships with many. You had empathy, you had sincerity, you had brilliance, truthfulness and you had love. For some reason your mind wouldnt let that be enough and pain took hold. You were so very hard on yourself always criticizing your accomplishments, you had many in your short life. You were a teacher and taught us patience and kindness. You were a supporter and were always there for us. You were an avid student, a gatherer of knowledge. You had humor. Sarcastic at times, all enjoyed. You loved music, a listener, an appreciator and a player. You loved playing your guitars and your banjo. You enjoyed nature and enjoyed solitude. We now know your pain was unbearable. We know you didnt want to leave us, to hurt us, but the demand for relief from your painful torment of living forced you to take your life. We did want you here but didnt want you here suffering, we must remember that. We are a changed family, you have left a hole, an empty chair at the dinner table. We have been forced to reshape, and in time we will. We will go forward together, minus you. We will remain intact, we will not unravel. You wouldnt have wanted us to. We will remember all our Scott-times and smile and enjoy sharing them. When I think of you now, I see your face in a smile or with laughter so that is good. It helps me feel you are now at peace. The sun will be out today, the birds are chirping, life does go on. Thank you for letting us walk with you a little while. Love Mom, April 11, 2014 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scott had a beautiful calm presence, so its no doubt his absence has deeply affected us all. We need to remember, his carefree way, his smile, his laughter, his sense of humor, his empathy and compassion not only for his family and friends but also for humanity. His desire to contribute beyond himself is evident in his journal entries. He wanted to actively help push humanity in the right direction, engulfing new ideas leaving behind the old ones. Two years ago he started monthly donations to Plan Canada which is the Canadian arm of the relief organization Plan International. They promote social justice for youth and their families in developing countries.He donated often so sick kids in hospitals had access to games. His giving nature was proven many times, he would rather go without in order to give to others. He was a lover of Sriracha chili sauce. He was quite concerned last year when he heard that the factory may be forced close requesting that I buy as much as I could. He loved Thai food, curries, he cooked and baked for us often, meals for our daily dinners, pies and cakes for special occasions. Not that long ago he made us sausage rolls for dinner using puff pastry he made from scratch. He was extremely independent, paying his own way through school. He didnt ask for much, never for material things. If there was something he wanted hed find a way, his own way, he rarely asked for help, even with his depression he wanted to deal with it his way. We respected his wishes. Our hearts have been broken, time will be needed to help heal this pain. During this time of healing we need to try to keep our eyes and hearts open, open to receive all of lifes beauty. Its around us daily, in people we know, in the nature we are surrounded by, we just need to pay attention to it. I am grateful Scott had the chance to see some of lifes natural beauty when he traveled with his friends. One of his favorite quotes: Life isnt about finding yourself, its about creating yourself We can create ourselves by listening to our intuition following our dreams and desires. Create a life that is full, full of friendships, full of laughter, full of love. We need to live our lives fearlessly because weve all just been reminded how fragile life is. We will now go forward and carry memories of Scott with us wherever we go whatever we do and if we can add just a little of his compassion and empathy for each other and for the world around us our lives cant help but become more enriched. We need to remember, to smile, and feel blessed at having known him. I want you all to know you are always welcome, to our home. Our door is open if you need to share a story, shed a tear in the home he lived and was loved in. Thank you all for being here, today, for supporting us as a family And helping us celebrate our love for our son and brother Scott.
Written and read by Cathy Lotocky at Scotts memorial April 26th. 2014