Eulogies & Obituaries

Writing and Delivering a Eulogy

Speaking at a funeral can feel intimidating, even for experienced public speakers. Summarizing someone’s life in just a few minutes—while striking a balance between heartfelt and light-hearted—can seem overwhelming. But giving a eulogy is not only a meaningful way to honor a loved one’s life, it can also be a powerful part of your own healing process. Being asked to speak is a privilege, and with some preparation, you can create a tribute that is both sincere and memorable.

• Start by gathering memories: Connect with relatives, friends, and coworkers to collect stories and details about your loved one. Think about relationships, life milestones, career, hobbies, favorite places, and achievements. These details will help shape a fuller picture of who they were.

• Organize your ideas: Use an outline to guide your thoughts. Write freely to get everything down, then structure your speech in a way that flows naturally- from early life to lasting impact, or grouped by themes like personality, relationships, and passions.

• Write it out: This isn’t the time to speak off the cuff. Writing a full version ensures you include everything important. Bring a clear, easy-to-read copy to the podium, and consider a large font or double spacing to help keep your place. Be mindful of timing; shorter is often better, especially if others will be speaking.

• Revise and refine: After your first draft, take a break and come back to it later with fresh eyes. This will help you smooth out the language and make sure everything feels right.

• Practice aloud: Reading your speech several times, either to yourself or a supportive listener, can help calm your nerves and improve your delivery. Practicing also lets you make sure you’re within your time limit and can help you adjust tone and pacing.

• Include gentle humor, if appropriate: While a eulogy isn’t meant to be comedic, sharing a lighthearted memory or funny story can help ease the heaviness and celebrate the joy your loved one brought to others. Keep it respectful and inclusive, as those attending will span different ages and backgrounds.

• Emotions are natural: Tears may come, and that’s okay. If you’re concerned about becoming too overwhelmed, consider asking someone close to you to be ready to step in and read on your behalf. Share your speech with them ahead of time, just in case.

• Have tissues and a glass of water nearby: Simple comforts like these can make a big difference if emotions or nerves catch you off guard.
  

Writing an Obituary

Creating an obituary can feel like a heavy task during a time of loss. Start by gathering key facts from family and friends about your loved one’s life, such as childhood memories, education, career, interests, and accomplishments. You’ll also want to include any service details provided by the funeral home, such as the date, time, and location of ceremonies.

Using a simple outline or template can help you organize the information and ensure you write a clear, respectful tribute that honors their memory. Keep it concise but meaningful, highlighting the moments and qualities that made them special.